‘Trauma’ – this is perhaps one of the most sensitive words in the world of mental health. Not only is it heavy on the one dealing with it, but also the one treating. The basic definition of trauma can be broken down to “an emotional response to and after a situation an individual perceives as highly threatening or stressful.” Trauma is not only caused by events such as death, accidents or sexual assault but also through childhood neglect, maltreatment and, might be caused by something as normal as a barking dog.
One misconception people hold is that most individuals with trauma have the same experiences, i.e. ‘the trauma’ and must be looked at the same way. But when you take a moment to think about it, does it make sense? Is the experience of survivor and somebody who rolled down the stairs the same? No, but both of the situations cause severe trauma. When you say they must be looked at in the same way, we agree. They should all be looked at with the same kindness, understanding, patience and generosity. But no trauma victim or survivor should be looked at as one among in a herd of many.
Each person’s traumatic experience is unique.
When the event has/had been threatening to their basic survival, the intensity of the trauma may range higher than an event that only caused distress. However, our response to stress is genetically coded in us as the ‘fight-flight-freeze’ activation, which was first a response to the life-threatening wild animals during the hunting age. So, our brain perceives any stressful situation as life-threatening. Now, whether you think the traumatic event was severe or not doesn’t matter. What the victim/survivor feels matters. And so they are allowed to respond to it emotionally.
When we say some events may have more harmful effects than others, we mean that the traumatic experiences and severity differ. This does not mean one should consider particular traumas as more important and genuine, and others as lesser important. When we deem certain traumatic experiences as more ‘real’ than others- we invalidate the person’s experience and emotions. Similarly, even the notion that all traumas are similar experiences, is invalidating and misleading.
I survived my childhood. But I don’t know if I would have been able to survive yours. Perhaps you wouldn’t have been able to survive mine.
This month we observe PTSD Awareness month. Not only is it important to understand what millions of people deal for days, months and ages, but also how each of it is different. For example, when we talk about something as severe as sexual assault, two victims may have two completely different experiences and responses. While one may fight back and get stronger, the other may live a life full of fear and devastation. But this doesn’t mean the former hasn’t been through trauma. It means both of their experiences affected them differently. Their emotional response towards the event is unique to themselves. This doesn’t invalidate the event or the trauma.
In conclusion, the next time you talk about trauma victims/survivors, remember to acknowledge their unique experience, but treat them with the same kindness and understanding.
Author: Alancia Menezes
Insights: Dr. Wilona Annunciation & Ms. Saraswathi Char.
